Anna Dusseau | 10th April 2020
We are a musical family. I dance in the kitchen for the vast majority of the time (it really pisses the kids off) and teenwolf is only very reluctantly doing a ‘real’ job having failed to make it as the next David Guetta during his 20s (I mean this in the nicest way possible). So big speakers, turntables, oh-my-god-don’t-bend-the-record-like-that; we’re all over it. And as a consequence, one of our favourite things to do is play with song lyrics and sometimes someone (diva daughter, invariably) gets all serious and writes it down. So, I thought for the bank holiday weekend, I would share with you a couple of recent submissions which I am copying from their music jotter by the piano. Spelling mistakes I have corrected but the iambic rhythm is all their own and I think it’s pretty genius. Click the link to sing along with your kids at home and then please do share if you come up with some fun stuff over the long weekend. Prodigy, anyone?
The Hogwarts Rap (to the tune of Ice, Ice, Baby. Instrumental here.)
I’m like stop, disapparate, be witchin’,
Hogwarts back with the elves in the kitchen.
Nagini grabs a hold of me tightly;
Is she gonna eat me or will she just fight me?
Will the Dark Lord go?I don’t know.
Bellatrix Lestrange ain’t gone change, that I can say.
Neville’s the man with a plan, gonna save the day.
Quidditch.. ain’t got time for that now;
Lupin’s in the wood gonna let out a howl.
Deadly.. when the Death Eaters get at me,
Gotta do the patronus spell, or it’s time to flee.
Expelliarmus! This ain’t kids’ play;
Here comes McGonagall now, with a straight face.
If there’s a problem – yo – Dumbledore solves it.
Check out my spells while my 10 inch revolves it.
Le – vi – osa.. Wingardium leviosa. Le – vi – osa.. Wingardium leviosa.
Let’s Save the NHS (to the tune of Baby by Bieber. Instrumental here.)
We can’t go out now;
We’re stuck at home.
No playing games now;
We’re all alone.
This is so crazy;
Life’s up the spout,
Seems like we’re never ever ever going out.
Is that the postman?
Hold it right there.
Gloves on and face mask,
Do it with care.
Is it a package, or just a card?
Never thought staying home would be this hard.
And we were like: ‘Let’s all save the NHS;
Just stay at home and don’t get dressed.
The whole world’s in a great big mess;
But at least the sun’s gonna shine!’
Bye, Corona! (to the tune of My Sharona. Instrumental here.)
Jabba washed his dirty hands, his dirty hands
He washed his little dirty hands; bye corona!
Ooh, he used a lot of soap, a lot of soap
And he scrubbed for 20 seconds, like, bye corona!
Never gonna eat rice again, but that’s fine with me
I never liked it much, and now it’s gone from the shelves you see.
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
I’m just saying that with a bit of practise, some dark glasses and the instrumental on in the background, this can also make a pretty awesome music video filmed on your phone in selfie mode. I mean for the kids, not you! Sheesh! If you get a chance to do a COVID-19 quarantine version of Bill Withers’ Lovely Day, that would be cool, and timely. I am a bit desperate for the kids to do another Star Wars remix (the last song was an ode to Jabba the Hut, apparently, and I was as confused as you about the lyrics..does Jabba even have hands?) and I’m hesitating between using The Beatles’ Oh Bla De Oh Bla Da and Say So by Doja Cat. Probably they will go with another Bieber song, though. Look, it’s just a bit of fun, but it passes the time and beats a worksheet. Have a great weekend, everyone!
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